"Greening Your Wallet" is more like it.

I received a catalog from a company that makes promotional items today. One of the items in the catalog is a 100-page book called “Greening Your Office”, and the promo company will stamp the logo of your company on the cover. The minimum number of customized books that you have to purchase is 50, which means that in order to “green” your small business’ office, you’d need to spend over five hundred bucks on 5,000 pages of paper and, from the looks of it, full-page, color-ink photographs.


Additionally, I did not ask the promotional company to send me this 200-page catalog that highlights its “eco friendly” options w/ a leaf.

First GoodReads Review (short & to the point-ish)

The Divine Comedy: Inferno; Purgatorio; Paradiso by Dante Alighieri

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars

I first read this poem four years ago as part of a dare. And by “dare,” I mean a professor listed it on the syllabus and I had to read it and then write papers about it. The next summer, I wanted to read it again on account of the graphic imagery of Inferno and Purgatorio. The punishments/reparations are mindblowing, scary, and beautiful. Everyone should at the very least skim Inferno. Particularly in Inferno, the political references are funny and provocative, and the historical significance of this epic poem is right up there with the Bible and Paradise Lost for me. Paradiso is far more abstract and sappy than the other books.

I re-read all three last Fall because I’ve always felt attached to this work, and I figure you gotta read something at LEAST three times before you say its your favorite book. But yeah, this is my favorite book. It makes me want to learn Italian and read Dante’s Italian (and the whole part about him writing it in Italian instead of Latin pissed off so many people—again, the history of this piece is great). It makes me want to visit Italy. It makes me want to write something worth reading!

View all my reviews.

Not to sound overly-bitter about life...

Not to sound overly-bitter about life, but if I hear one more nerdy accounting student say "y'know, that's how they caught Al Capone," I'm gonna 'splode.

Oh, Mondays!

Student in hall [to Spanish-speaking custodial lady]: Where’s the free dentist?

Custodial lady: … No se pero tienes una pregunta, James esta aqui.

Student in hall [louder]: Where’s the FREE DENTAL? DENTIST? Wheeeerrreeee issss theeeee dennnnnntissssst?

Custodial lady: I no know. James know.

Student in hall [to me]: Where’s the free dentist?

Me: The… free… dentist?

Student in hall: Yeah. For students.

Me: I don’t know anything about this. Where did you hear that there were free dentists?

Student in hall: For students.

Me: Check with the Health Center, but if no one actually told you there’s a free dentist for students, I think it is safe to say that there isn’t one. [but I give him directions to the Health Center]

Student in hall: Okay.

Me: Okay, good luck.

Student in hall: Okay.

Me: …

Student in hall: …

Me: …?

Student in hall: … [he finally just walks away]

Who falls for this stuff

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The fact that the cop was black is irrelevant

A Fort Lauderdale cop was cleared of an internal investigation claiming he used curse words and racial slurs at some folks at a sketchy Elk Lodge Mother’s Day male-stripper extravaganza. The entire story is fantastic. I imagine he would have had just a slap on the wrist or a line that says “cursed some folks” on his record. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, but the Sun Sentinel treated this story like he had shot someone. In other news, a San Francisco cop accidentally or intentionally straight up shot some dude, and it is all over YouTube (I’m not posting that garbage; search for “BART shooting”).

Anyway, the last lines of this cop-cursing article were the best:

Some people didn't take Carmichael's orders to leave the club seriously because they mistook him for part of the dance act.

The dancer was dressed like a jail inmate and Carmichael was wearing a police uniform.

In the comments of the Sun Sentinel, some holier-than-thou ign’ant folks posted the following eulogy to Barack Obama (to keep his “people” in line? WTF?):

Please Mr. Obama, show your people how to have personal responsibility. Teach them to respect themselves so they might respect others, including the police. Show them how to stand on their own two feet without handouts. Teach them to teach their children to value education and hard work. Teach them values like not getting pregnant before you have a husband who can support the child. Teach them common decency. Teach them those things Mr. Obama, and I, a staunch Republican, will vote for you in four years. If you cannot do those things, nobody can. And your people will start to expect even more entitlements, thus alienating everyone else and setting back race relations 50 years. Lift your people up--not by giving them handouts, but by giving them the proper values.

That is stupid, but it is funny, too

Can I finish my sent-

Student: Hi where do I go for a parking decal?

Me: It’s all online now, so you can go online at-

Student: Yeah, I know, I know, you go online and print off your receipt as a decal.

Me: Right, and then they-

Student: And then they mail you the permanent one. I want to do it on campus. My friend said he did his on campus.

Me: Well, they do it all online now, but you can check with-

Student: My friend said he did his on campus.

Me: It’s all online, but you can check with the ID Card office upstairs, but they’re just [she walks away]…going to tell you what I just told you.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw her on her laptop, pulling up the parking website.

I can't help it

I didn't want to give any more attention to this idiot, but I figured no one reads this blog anyway.

Potty mouth.

Sometimes my job is poopy. Literally! We've been having issues with the bathrooms, and apparently it is my responsibility to take care of sewage problems. I wish the people really in charge of this problem would do something about it.

I keep on drippin' coffee on my pants in just the way that makes it look like I peed a little.

Wish I had time away from the poop to focus on my real job, which entails scheduling student workers.

There are way more than two sides to every tale!

This morning brought a brilliant PR move by the Israelis.

Israel briefly suspended its fighting on Wednesday and agreed to do so for three hours each day to permit humanitarian relief goods to reach the beleaguered population.

In other words, they invaded negotiated boundaries and killed a lot of people, and now they're going to give them some band aids.

I don't want to sound like a Palestinian sympathizer here, though that may be what I am. And I'm certainly not all gung-ho for Israel. One of the best books I ever read was Best of Enemies, by a former Israeli Intelligence operative and a former Palestinian terrorist. Reading either co-author's individual biography forces you to see the world from his perspective, and in the end you don't know if you agree with the Israelis or the Palestinians or what to believe. Because these two are masters of persuasion, they also persuade you that the answer for both sides is peace (if you're into that kind of propaganda!). Anyway, just some food for thought.

Additionally, personal news for the morning:

1 - I just spilled coffee in 3 drops on my crotch, so I'm temporarily immobilized behind my desk.

2 - A young, socially-awkward-appearing lady student walked by my office, mumbling to her friend, "With all the outlets for sexuality through writing, I don't see the need for the physical part." Hm!

3 - An individual who offered me nothing but countless hardships in the past has been transferred to our downtown Fort Lauderdale campus. I now fully understand the phrase "good riddance."

4 - My wife is home while I am at work every day. I leave for home at 6, and she leaves for her night classes at 6. Whassupwidat.